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03-Mar-2019 13:28

And until fidelity and relationship boundaries are adequately defined, the couple’s issues have no chance to abate.

Consider these examples: None of these individuals has had an in-the-flesh sexual encounter outside of their primary relationship, and yet all four have been accused of infidelity by their spouse.

These scenarios beg the question: A few years ago, in an attempt to answer this question, Jennifer Schneider, Charles Samenow, and I conducted a survey of women whose husbands were engaging in significant amounts of extramarital sexual activity, either online or in the real world.

Our research found that when it comes to the negative impact of sex and romance outside the bounds of a supposedly monogamous relationship, tech-based and real-world interactions are : The emotional pain, the sense of betrayal, and the loss of relationship trust feel exactly the same to the aggrieved partner.

“If you’re having a chat and messing with someone, and it's understood from your side and their side that it’s just a bit of harmless fun and your partner also understands that, then you can enjoy it.

“But when you’re flirting and they are not sure of the boundaries or if your partner is unhappy with how you are behaving with other men and women and you continue to behave in that way, it can be very very harmful." In this way, flirting or reactions to certain behaviours can be looked at as a symptom of the health of the relationship.

And if flirting is defined as behaviour which suggests you are sexually attracted to someone - but stopping short of saying it outright – is it a form of cheating if you are spoken for?

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In the 21st century, with our increasingly digital lives, the once-clear line between monogamy and sexual or romantic infidelity has become rather blurry.

If you are invested in your partner, your eyes shouldn’t wander.

Yet, the answer can be easy to pin down if approached in the right way, explains Denise Knowles, a relationships counsellor at the charity Relate.

Though I didn't let him catch me looking at him, I took my time crossing the street--as he locked his car and walked into the gym--so I could make the most of my opportunity to objectify him.

Once I finished licking my chops, I entered myself.

In the 21st century, with our increasingly digital lives, the once-clear line between monogamy and sexual or romantic infidelity has become rather blurry.

If you are invested in your partner, your eyes shouldn’t wander.

Yet, the answer can be easy to pin down if approached in the right way, explains Denise Knowles, a relationships counsellor at the charity Relate.

Though I didn't let him catch me looking at him, I took my time crossing the street--as he locked his car and walked into the gym--so I could make the most of my opportunity to objectify him.

Once I finished licking my chops, I entered myself.

Someone worried or upset by their partner apparently flirting should not accuse them, but rather approach the situation with “curiosity” as they may not intend for their actions to be hurtful, says Knowles.